he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
