True but thats because hes a fetus.
Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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