No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
