I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
