Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
