this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
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