you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Randomize
