My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
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I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
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Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
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