It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
