Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
