508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
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