Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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