I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
I cut my penus on the lid.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
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