I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Randomize
