I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
She's the barista slut.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Randomize
