Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
Randomize
