my soul wont recognize me after tonight
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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