as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Randomize
