So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Randomize
