my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
