My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
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