I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
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