it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
Randomize
