Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Randomize
