Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
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