Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
My hair reeks of homosexuality.
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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