I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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