we should wear snuggies to the strip club
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
