thus making me awesome and them whores
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Randomize
