i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
