Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
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