I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
Randomize
