Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
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