There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
they call him Oral-B. enough said
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Randomize
