So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
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