Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
