just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
