Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
Randomize
