Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
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