Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
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