My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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