Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
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