I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
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