he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
