butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Randomize
