Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
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