the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Floor bacon is actually really good
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
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