remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Randomize
