just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
