Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
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