this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
Randomize
