I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
Randomize
