i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
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