do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
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