ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
Randomize
