Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
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