Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
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If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
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I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
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